#12 Picketing

“Excuse me, but I’d like to tell you a little something about what I think, if you would kindly give me the courtesy of your time.”

Irk a Christian, and these are probably the words you are least likely to hear. In all honesty, should you bother an overly opinionated Christian, you’re not likely to hear any words at all, rather you’ll be treated to some good old fashioned reading. That’s because when many Christians get upset–about politics, or sexual orientation, or pop culture–they take a unique path for stating their opinion. They don’t ask to talk about it, they don’t write a letter, they write it in big, bold, uncaring letters in colorful signs, and then hold those signs in (considering the content of the signs) terribly inappropriate places.

You have to understand–this isn’t all Christians we’re talking about, and it isn’t even most Christians. This is a select but loud few of obnoxious Christians, the kind of Christians who give all us other Christians a bad name. While we’re content to pass along chain emails and talk to our friends in the privacy of our neighborhood coffee shop about how awful “The Golden Compass” is, these shmucks have got to take the signs out and parade around in front of the movie theater like it’s some gosh darn circus.

In picketing, the Christian works with the greatest tool in his arsenal: shame. The Christian advertises something they think is shameful, and attempts to translate that shame onto others with the help of big, neon signs. That is, if I’m a non-Christian out to enjoy a casual shopping trip to my friendly neighborhood adult bookstore, and I come across a sign saying “YOU ARE A DIRTY SINNER,” then perhaps I’ll rethink my steps and turn towards the Christian bookstore instead. The thought process of the Christian is that most people don’t know just how much they’re sinning during their everyday lives, so we make it easy for them by kindly reminding them of it every time they need it (which, of course, we will decide).

In some circumstances, even other Christians don’t know that they are sinning. A family of four enjoying a Sunday matinée of the latest Tom Hanks film together might need to be reminded that the story they’re about to view is the kind of story that the Devil jovially tells his fellow demons on a warm evening in the pits of Hell. Thankfully, though, there are often picketers there to “sharpen iron,” as it were, and inform fellow Christians of the grave mistakes they are making.

It seems Christians will stop at nothing to encourage their fellow man into making wise decisions, though their teaching methods are becoming a touch tiresome. Thankfully though, they are here in even the most obscure of situations, to let us know every time we do something wrong, every time we talk to a person who differs too much from us, gently redirecting our footsteps back on the right path, informing us that God is somewhere up there in Heaven, shaking his fist at us, and thanking His lucky stars that He’s got people down on earth holding His signs for Him.